Wishing you a rainbow

For sunlight after showers—

Miles and miles of Irish smiles

For golden happy hours—

Shamrocks at your doorway

For luck and laughter too,

And a host of friends that never ends

Each day your whole life through!

-Irish Blessing

St. Patricks Day is one of my favorite holidays.  It’s the anniversary of my first date with my sweetheart and I love the color green.  I’m also Irish and I love kissing. So it’s a fun excuse for another batch of cute kids holiday jokes, kid friendly puns and riddles!!   It’s also very GREEN, my 2020 mom blog goal was to go green, so of course we are celebrating.

Brief History of St. Patricks Day 

“Saint Patrick’s Day, feast day (March 17) of St. Patrick, patron saint of Ireland. Born in Roman Britain in the late 4th century, he was kidnapped at the age of 16 and taken to Ireland as a slave. He escaped but returned about 432 to convert the Irish to Christianity.”  From Encyclopedia Britannica

It was Irish immigrants in the United States who transformed St. Patrick’s Day into the holiday celebrating all things Irish. 

50 of the Best St. Patricks Day Jokes for Kids

Oli: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?

Piper: I don’t know.

Oli: A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day

Clean St. Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. What bow can’t be tied?

A. A rainbow.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?

A. Paddy O’furniture.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Piper: What do you call a fake Irish stone?

Milo: What?

Piper: A shamrock!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Amber: What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?

Matthew: What?

Amber: Game clover!

Mom: Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?

Oli: Tell me.

Mom: You might press your luck!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?

A. To get to the pot of gold.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Oli: What happens if you fall in the Irish Sea on St. Patrick’s Day?

Mom: No idea.

Oli: You get wet!

Q. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?

A. Because they are always a little short!

Q. When does the leprechaun cross the road?

A. When it’s green!

Mom: What  musical instrument did the show-off musician play his St. Patrick’s Day tunes?

Piper: I have no idea.

Mom: On his brag-pipes.

Q. How do you know when an Irish person is happy?

A. When they are Dublin over with laughter!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Oli: Knock. Knock.

Milo: Who’s there?

Oli: Warren.

Milo: Warren who?

Oli: Warren any green today?

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles?

Dad: What?

Mom “Wee-cyclers!”

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

A. Real rocks would be too heavy!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Milo: How can you tell if a potato is not from Ireland?

Mom: Not sure.

Milo: When it’s a French fry.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Dad: Where do leprechauns buy their groceries?

Piper: I don’t know.

Dad: Rainbow Foods!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: What did the leprechaun say on March 17?

Oli: I dunno.

Mom: “Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Dad: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

Piper: Why?

Dad: Airplanes weren’t invented yet.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. Where will you always find gold?

A. In the dictionary.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: Knock, knock.

Piper: Who’s there?

Mom: Irish stew.

Piper: Irish stew, who?

Mom:  Irish stew in the name of the law.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: What does a leprechaun say when you tell him Bono is his favorite singer?

Piper: What

Mom: You too?

Piper: huh?

Mom:  U2!! 

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Milo: What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?

Oli: No clue.

Milo: Grape Britain!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. Why do frogs and alligators like St. Patrick’s Day?

A. Because they are already wearing green!

Piper: What do you call a big Irish spider? 

Daisy: What?

Piper: Paddy long legs!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to coins? 

Milo: Why?

Mom: Because they’re green!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Daisy: Why are so many leprechauns florists? 

Piper: Why?

Daisy: They have green thumbs!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Dad: What’s a leprechaun’s favorite cereal? 

Mom: What?

Dad: Lucky Charms!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Milo: Why did the leprechaun turn down a bowl of soup? 

Dad: Why?

Milo:  Because he already had a pot of gold!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: Why do leprechauns recycle? 

Piper: Why?

Mom: They like to go green!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Oli: How is a good friend like a four-leaf clover? 

Mom: How

Oli: They’re hard to find!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a Texan?

Piper: What?

Mom:  A pot of chili at the end of the rainbow!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?

A. He gets wet!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: Why do leprechauns dislike leftovers? 

Milo: Why?

Mom: They prefer left-clovers!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Dad: What’s an Irishman’s favorite room in the house? 

Mom: What?

Dad: The Paddy O’!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Milo: What is Dwayne Johnson’s Irish nickname? 

Oli: What?

Milo: The Sham-Rock.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Piper:  Where did the lazy leprechaun find gold? 

Mom: Where?

Piper:  In the dictionary!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Daisy:  Why did the leprechaun open his umbrella? 

Piper: Why?

Daisy: He walked under a rain-bow.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?

A. A poor horse is going barefoot!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?

A. Because they are short tempered!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?

A. He took a short cut!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Q. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog?

A. A little man having a hopping good time!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Piper: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?

Mom: What?

Piper: A Jolly Green Giant.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: What kind of spells do leprechaun witches cast?

MIlo: What?

Mom: Lucky Charms!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?

Dad: Why?

Mom: They’re really into green living.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Piper: Who was St. Patrick’s favorite superhero?

Mom: Who?

Piper: Green Lantern.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Oli: How did the Irish Jig get started?

Milo: How?

Oli: Too much water to drink and not enough restrooms!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Dad:  Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?

Mom: Why?

Dad: They have green thumbs!

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Mom: What was St. Patrick’s favorite kind of music?

Piper: What?

Mom:  Sham-rock and roll.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Dad: Why do leprechauns make good secretaries?

Oli: Why?

Dad: They’re great at shorthand.

Oli: What?

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Milo: What do leprechauns love to barbecue?

Dad: Why?

Milo: Short ribs.

Clean St Patricks Day Jokes For Kids

Happy St. Patricks Day Friends!  

Related: 

Winter Holiday Jokes from this mom blog.

Valentines Day Kid Friendly Jokes from me again.

St. Patricks Day Jokes For Kids Clean Jokes
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