Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!
-Irish Blessing
St. Patricks Day is one of my favorite holidays. It’s the anniversary of my first date with my sweetheart and I love the color green. I’m also Irish and I love kissing. So it’s a fun excuse for another batch of cute kids holiday jokes, kid friendly puns and riddles!! It’s also very GREEN, my 2020 mom blog goal was to go green, so of course we are celebrating.
Brief History of St. Patricks Day
“Saint Patrick’s Day, feast day (March 17) of St. Patrick, patron saint of Ireland. Born in Roman Britain in the late 4th century, he was kidnapped at the age of 16 and taken to Ireland as a slave. He escaped but returned about 432 to convert the Irish to Christianity.” From Encyclopedia Britannica
It was Irish immigrants in the United States who transformed St. Patrick’s Day into the holiday celebrating all things Irish.
50 of the Best St. Patricks Day Jokes for Kids
Oli: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
Piper: I don’t know.
Oli: A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day
Q. What bow can’t be tied?
A. A rainbow.
Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O’furniture.
Piper: What do you call a fake Irish stone?
Milo: What?
Piper: A shamrock!
Amber: What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?
Matthew: What?
Amber: Game clover!
Mom: Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
Oli: Tell me.
Mom: You might press your luck!
Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A. To get to the pot of gold.
Oli: What happens if you fall in the Irish Sea on St. Patrick’s Day?
Mom: No idea.
Oli: You get wet!
Q. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!
Q. When does the leprechaun cross the road?
A. When it’s green!
Mom: What musical instrument did the show-off musician play his St. Patrick’s Day tunes?
Piper: I have no idea.
Mom: On his brag-pipes.
Q. How do you know when an Irish person is happy?
A. When they are Dublin over with laughter!
Oli: Knock. Knock.
Milo: Who’s there?
Oli: Warren.
Milo: Warren who?
Oli: Warren any green today?
Mom: What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles?
Dad: What?
Mom “Wee-cyclers!”
Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A. Real rocks would be too heavy!
Milo: How can you tell if a potato is not from Ireland?
Mom: Not sure.
Milo: When it’s a French fry.
Dad: Where do leprechauns buy their groceries?
Piper: I don’t know.
Dad: Rainbow Foods!
Mom: What did the leprechaun say on March 17?
Oli: I dunno.
Mom: “Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”
Dad: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
Piper: Why?
Dad: Airplanes weren’t invented yet.
Q. Where will you always find gold?
A. In the dictionary.
Mom: Knock, knock.
Piper: Who’s there?
Mom: Irish stew.
Piper: Irish stew, who?
Mom: Irish stew in the name of the law.
Mom: What does a leprechaun say when you tell him Bono is his favorite singer?
Piper: What
Mom: You too?
Piper: huh?
Mom: U2!!
Milo: What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?
Oli: No clue.
Milo: Grape Britain!
Q. Why do frogs and alligators like St. Patrick’s Day?
A. Because they are already wearing green!
Piper: What do you call a big Irish spider?
Daisy: What?
Piper: Paddy long legs!
Mom: Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to coins?
Milo: Why?
Mom: Because they’re green!
Daisy: Why are so many leprechauns florists?
Piper: Why?
Daisy: They have green thumbs!
Dad: What’s a leprechaun’s favorite cereal?
Mom: What?
Dad: Lucky Charms!
Milo: Why did the leprechaun turn down a bowl of soup?
Dad: Why?
Milo: Because he already had a pot of gold!
Mom: Why do leprechauns recycle?
Piper: Why?
Mom: They like to go green!
Oli: How is a good friend like a four-leaf clover?
Mom: How
Oli: They’re hard to find!
Mom: What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a Texan?
Piper: What?
Mom: A pot of chili at the end of the rainbow!
Q. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A. He gets wet!
Mom: Why do leprechauns dislike leftovers?
Milo: Why?
Mom: They prefer left-clovers!
Dad: What’s an Irishman’s favorite room in the house?
Mom: What?
Dad: The Paddy O’!
Milo: What is Dwayne Johnson’s Irish nickname?
Oli: What?
Milo: The Sham-Rock.
Piper: Where did the lazy leprechaun find gold?
Mom: Where?
Piper: In the dictionary!
Daisy: Why did the leprechaun open his umbrella?
Piper: Why?
Daisy: He walked under a rain-bow.
Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A. A poor horse is going barefoot!
Q. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A. Because they are short tempered!
Q. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?
A. He took a short cut!
Q. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog?
A. A little man having a hopping good time!
Piper: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
Mom: What?
Piper: A Jolly Green Giant.
Mom: What kind of spells do leprechaun witches cast?
MIlo: What?
Mom: Lucky Charms!
Mom: Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
Dad: Why?
Mom: They’re really into green living.
Piper: Who was St. Patrick’s favorite superhero?
Mom: Who?
Piper: Green Lantern.
Oli: How did the Irish Jig get started?
Milo: How?
Oli: Too much water to drink and not enough restrooms!
Dad: Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?
Mom: Why?
Dad: They have green thumbs!
Mom: What was St. Patrick’s favorite kind of music?
Piper: What?
Mom: Sham-rock and roll.
Dad: Why do leprechauns make good secretaries?
Oli: Why?
Dad: They’re great at shorthand.
Oli: What?
Milo: What do leprechauns love to barbecue?
Dad: Why?
Milo: Short ribs.
Happy St. Patricks Day Friends!
Related:
Winter Holiday Jokes from this mom blog.
Valentines Day Kid Friendly Jokes from me again.
