Roses are red, violets are blue; here are some adorable Valentine’s Day jokes for you.

I love Valentine’s day and I love cheesy kids jokes.  So here we go for my second installment of Holiday Jokes for Kids, Valentines Edition! First was Christmas Holiday Jokes for Kids!   You guys loved my Christmas edition. I’ve never gotten that many views on a single post.  So I’m totally going to do a Valentines Edition, then a St. Patricks Day Edition, and for sure an Easter Edition (bunny jokes are my favorites).  

Clean Valentines Day Jokes For Children Jokes for Kids

We’ve been testing these out on the kids all week, most are good for some really cute laughs.  Have a funny, silly, wonderful Valentine’s Day Friends! 

1. What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?

A valen-teeny.

2. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?

I’m stuck on you!

3. What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you!

4. What did the cucumber say to the pickle?

You mean a great dill to me.

5. How did the phone propose to his GF?

He gave her a ring.

6. What did the one sheep say to the other?

I love ewe!

7.  What did the paper clip say to the magnet?

 I find you very attractive.

8.  What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day?

 Lots of hogs and kisses.

9. What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine’s Day?
I love you a ton!

10.  What did the boy bat say to the girl bat on Valentine’s Day?
You’re fun to hang around with!

11.  What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day?
You’re purrr-fect for me!

12.  What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine’s Day?
You mean a great dill to me!

13.  What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine’s Day?
Let me call you Tweet heart!

14. What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day?
I’m nuts about you!

15. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? 

I’m stuck on you!

16.  What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day? 

You can count on me.

17.  What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time?


18.  Knock Knock.

       Who’s there? 


       Luke who? 

       Luke who got a Valentine!

19.  What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day? 

Whale you be mine?

20.  Knock Knock. 

       Who’s there? 


       Bea who? 

       Bea my Valentine!

21. What kind of flower do you never give on Valentines Day? 


22.  What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? 

You get buttered up.

23.  Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? 

Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

24.  Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? 

He stole her heart.

25.  What do you call two birds in love? 


26.  What do you get when you kiss a dragon on Valentine’s Day? 

Third degree burns on your lips.

27.  What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean? 

One is bored over a man, and the other is a man overboard.

28.  What did the baker say to his sweetheart? 

I’m dough-nuts about you!

29.  What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day? 

You’re purr-fect.

30.  Knock knock. 

      Who’s there? 


      Frank who? 

      Frank you for being my friend!

31. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

 “I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.”

32.  Are you a triangle?

Cause you sure are acute!

33.  What did one monster say to the other monster?

Be my Valen-slime!

34.  Knock Knock

       Who’s there?


       Olive who?

       Olive you!

35.  Knock, knock.

       Who’s there?


       Peas who?

       Peas be my Valentine!

36.  What is it called when fish fall in love?


37.  What did one piece of string say to the other?

Be my Valen-twine.

38.  What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit on Valentine’s Day?
Somebunny likes you!

39.  What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine’s Day?
I wuv you beary much!

40.  What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?

Lets hang out!

41.  Why did the frog cross the road?

 Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.

42.   What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?

They got married in the spring.

43.  What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

“I love you berry much.”

44.   What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?

“I love BOO!”

45.  Why did the rooster cross the road?

He wanted to impress the chicks!

46.  Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because her boyfriend was on the other side.

47.  Why did the rooster get a tattoo?

He wanted to impress the chicks!

48. Why do Valentine’s have hearts on them?

 Because brains would be pretty gross!

49. What did one bee say to the other? 

I love bee-ing with you, honey!

50.  What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?

Ughs and kisses!

If you made it this far, you are awesome. I have a request, can you say a prayer for health for my sweet friend Ethan over at his mom’s blog.