“You are not stuck at home, you are safe at home.” I read this a few days ago and needed it. Maybe you need it too?
Personal update time: I haven’t actually done one of these for a while. I wish I had wonderful news to share but like the rest of the world…. I’m pretty anxious about everything right now.
I have to get back to writing. It could help right? Getting your fears and worries out and doing something constructive with them? It’s actually not that I haven’t written. I have written plenty. I think I have 22 drafts of uncompleted thoughts but nothing seems more important than loving on my kids right now. I’ve been half-assed posting on Instagram. It’s hard to post on social media right now, we are just trying to get by. I share positive upbeat messages that speak to my soul. Oh and I’ve learned that if I balance my phone on the open cabinet above my head while I make the boys smoothies or lunch and add a fun song, I can post on TikTok because y’all know I’m not about to do any of those dances. Renegade, Margo, Skinny Legend who? I don’t have much sponsored work right now. I actually had 10 jobs lined up for the second quarter and lost all but 3 of them. I’m forever grateful for the 3 that I have left. People everywhere are losing their jobs, not just influencers.
So if I’m not blogging or posting incessantly on instagram, what am I doing? I don’t really have an answer. I watched Tiger King, and that distracted me a little. I saw someone post that they are kicking ass on their fitness plan earlier. I think they had lost 20 pounds or something. I probably gained it. I saw another mom had Marie Kondo’d every room in their home. I still have a stack of laundry that needs to be folded on my sofa from a week ago. I always said if I had the time I would write 3 blogs a week, or even write a book about my wild life in the Virgin Islands. Nope I haven’t done that either.
I have taught the boys the joys of sleeping in. They no longer wait for me to get up, they crawl into bed with me and snuggle. It’s really nice. Then we play Legos for hours or go in the backyard and garden. I’m so grateful for a backyard right now, even if it won’t grow grass. Our little rectangle of weeds and sunshine has been such a blessing. I have learned that Piper does better on her school-work if she does it in the mid-afternoon. She’s not a morning person either. I’ve become obsessed with this app that follows Matt at work, every time his ambulance heads in the direction of the hospital I say a little prayer. I’m not really religious but I need him safe. The boys need him safe. Even grumpy teenager Piper needs him safe. It’s not if he’s exposed to Covid-19, it’s when. So I’m chasing him with gummy vitamins daily just like I do with the kids. Every time Emergen-C becomes available on Amazon, I buy him a new box. They even have it with caffeine now, so I’ve stopped making him coffee. I now make him Emergen-C with Caffeine in the morning. I’ve stopped watching the news. I still catch it all on social media, but it’s too much to sit and watch someone talk about Covid-19 for half an hour.
I know I’m normally this positive upbeat mommy blogger, and there are plenty of them right now pretending all is well. All is not well. 2020 is scary. I’m scared.
I promise to get back to writing soon, I may finish some of the posts in my draft folder. I’m just not in the mood. I’m not one of those people who will be completing a list of things during this historic period of time. I’m merely surviving and managing my anxiety with kids hanging all over me all the time. Right now, I’m going to go make a cup of tea and face-time my grandpa.
Stay home friends, and stay safe. Wash your hands and don’t touch your face. (I’m sure you’ve heard it too many times but I’m a face toucher.)